Let me start by saying that my son means the world to me and nothing would make me happier than to spend my days home with him, teaching him and watching him grow. But the reality is that I knew even before I became pregnant that I would never have that chance to stay home with him full time. Like many other women my age, I put myself through college while working part time, racking up school bills that will be with me for most of my life. However, I did  not let that stop me from landing a few great jobs,getting married and, soon after, pregnant with my first child.
 

From the moment I saw my son’s beautiful face, I wanted to hold him forever. But at a mere 11 weeks after his birth, I tearfully left him for his first full day at day care and away from me. I grappled with so many emotions that first month- from the anxiety and nerves of having a stranger take care of my most precious creation to the guilt of having to leave him for 8-9 hours a day when deep down I knew that I should be the one spending time with him. That feeling never goes away, even 15 months later. But it does get better.

I was lucky to have a few months off when my husband and I relocated to another state and I was struggling to find a full time job that paid enough to cover day care and bills. During that time, my son learned to crawl. He went from 0-60 in a matter of two days. I have to admit that when he started crawling, I cried. I cried not just from the milestone he achieved but at the thought of knowing that if we hadn’t moved, I would have been at work when he finally figured out how to move his little legs out from under him.

As a full time working Mom, I go to work every day knowing that someone else is spending more time with my child than I, teaching him things that I am supposed to be teaching him, watching him grow in a way that I am going to miss. No matter how much I convince myself that I should be proud that I can provide for my son and juggle the responsibilities of Mommy-hood, full time work and take care of my duties at home while running on limited sleep, it is still very hard to think about. But as he grows, I see how
excited he is to go to day care and see his friends and teachers and all of the skills that he is learning each day, and it eases my heart.

Being a working Mom has taught me to have more patience and to cherish each moment that I have with my son- and we enjoy every minute of it!