Most parents find that the most difficult part of being a parent is when it comes time to discipline our children. As a parent, you are your kids’ first and most influential teacher. It is important to discipline your children, but it is even more important to do it in a constructive manner. You want to be able to correct your children constructively, without bringing them down to the point where they are so upset that they are not focused on the reason they are being corrected. Discipline is a fine line, that most parents are uncomfortable walking.

The best way to discipline children is to make them focus on the reason they are being punished, and not on the punishment itself. When kids become so worked up about a punishment, they aren’t really learning anything. They are so busy focused on the negativity of the discipline, that a lot of times they can forget why they even need correction. Positive discipline is one of the most difficult lessons for a parent to learn, so use these tips to help:

1. The absolute best way to discipline a child is with positive reinforcement. This doesn’t mean rewarding them for their ill behavior, it means that you positively reinforce their good behavior, and then you reward them for it. For instance, if a child is in trouble for saying mean things to another person, don’t criticize their behavior. Ask them to change the way they approach the situation. Ask them to tell that person what they are really feeling, and why they feel that way. Curve their behavior by correcting it first, and then rewarding them for coming clean and being honest.

 

2. Chores can be a useful tool to help your children understand that positivity is rewarded. Start every day with the same amount of chores for your children to do. This helps them gain a sense of responsibility. Then, you can take away chores based on good behavior. Never add more chores to a child that isn’t behaving properly. This makes them feel bitter about chores, and instead they act out. Taking away a few chores is a great reward to a child. It gives them more time to focus on playing, and lets them know that they are rewarded for being good.

 

3. A rewards system is an essential part of helping your children understand that good behavior is rewarded. Never keep a schedule of rewards, because some children can take advantage of the schedule and only behave when they know they will be rewarded. But instead, do random acts of kindness for your children, and let them know that it was for being such a great kid for the last few days. Your kids will appreciate your random acts of kindness just as much as you will appreciate their willingness to help out.

Disciplining children doesn’t have to be viewed as negative. In fact, if it is, then something needs to be changed. Teaching our youth humility and respect is done by showing them humility and respect.
 
Travis Newville
Breckenridge, Michigan